Last week, a bunch of us here at POKE, had a very interesting experience. We routinely hold chat sessions to just talk to regular folks and understand their tech habits. On Friday, we had a bunch of guys come in for one such routine session. One of them was the Crazy James.

His story paraphrased,  — He is trying to spread peace and love in the world that is consumed by materialistic desires and he will bike around the world for just $100. We checked out the above video on his myspace site. And we totally admit that this kid’s got balls. But once you get over that – it’s a load of bullshit that irresponsible brands contribute to and perpetuate. Let’s examine this a little more closely.

Crazy James, harped on about living how brands and advertisers were messing around with people, offering them too many messages, compelling them to buy stuff they didn’t need and in the end, contributing to this materialistic economy we live in.

Further in the conversation, when we asked him how did he decide on his idea, we learned that one night he was out drinking with American Apparel folks on the West Coast and the next morning, they bought him a bike and  offered to sponsor all his clothes. He also mentioned that everytime he is ready to leave a city and bike to a new one, American Apparel issues a press release for him. He supposedly got his airflights sponsored by Virgin Air and when he met with us, he was living with an editor at Elle Magazine.

When he pointed out the glaring contradictions in what his is preaching and what he practices, he didn’t have a suitable response for us. We pointed out that for his rants against materialism, he was the ultimate poster child hawking a clothing brand, a bike brand, an airline and probably other brands we didn’t know about.
Again, no convincing argument on his end.

Finally, he did mention that he worked for his food. Why, we asked. Why not get that for free as well? No, he persisted because that’s a story for me and then I share it with my readers on my blog.
His website has no blog. And his myspace blog has a few entries and was last updated on Nov 5. Maybe he hasn’t eaten since and has no stories?

Our craigslist ad that he responded to had asked for 18 – 21 year olds. It was only after he left and we checked out his myspace page that we realized he was 23. Not that it matters. He did say that he picked up odd jobs to make some cash on the side and our little chat was gonna earn him $20.

Also as he was leaving he invited us to go visit him and his biker buddies in Central Park the next Sunday where they will all be parading around half-naked and clothed only in American Apparel underwear. Is American Apparel paying you to do that for them, we asked. And again, he fumbled really not knowing how to be his own PR agent.

Crazy crazy…James, the poor poster child for misguided brands. If you see as his video ends, he has several other sponsors and from the looks of it, it is a part of some virtual reality show. But if you ask me, it is a virtual show that’s already gone very wrong. And I pity the brands associated with it.

Especially American Apparel. I did think AA was one of the leading brands who had a vision and stuck to it. But after this experience, I get it — I get that AA is just another brand trying just too hard to be cool.

WSJ has a great article yesterday about the fashionable re-branding of the ‘Homeless’ brand. A bunch of Beverly Hills kids created a fashion label inspired by a West L.A homeless dude who has been nicknamed "The Crazy Robertson."

The clothing brand is sold in high-end boutiques like Kitson with the Crazy Robertson hoodies selling for as much as $98. John Jermyn aka Crazy Robertson gets 5% of net profits although he  refused to accept cash and instead asked to be paid in food, liquer and paper for his art projects.

I’m not sure where I stand on this particular brand building endeavor. The entrepreneurial kids also set up a MySpace page complete with videos of Jermyn saying, "My name is John Jermyn. Welcome to my myspace.com website."

The whole venture strikes me as funny. But it is fantastic microscopic vignette of the various forms boredom takes and the various solutions we come up with to continue to keep ourselves fascinated.

I had a weird notification on twitter today.

“Saawariya” is following you.

Saawariya is a movie.

As a marketer, twitter marketing is one of the recommendations we often use for clients but I didn’t expect bollywood movie markters to be so savvy.

Only, I quit twitter because of such marketing campaigns destroying the network’s social stock.

Sigh.

At the recent Temple Ad-Club speech, one of the students asked us about using traditional media to advertise online/ digital brands. I think it’s a brilliant and ironic question by itself. Because you see, you have a whole host of digital media practionners who still write and publish books and then you have a host of online brands that advertise on TV. Even though audiences that consume traditional media are fragmented and perhaps traditional advertising doesn’t have as many eye-balls anymore — it is certainly not dead. And here are two brands that I think are doing it right. chemistry.com and ask.com

I’m not a fan of comemercials that take potshots at their competitors on-air. I think its highly unoriginal and barely creative to do so. But the recent chemistry.com commercials perhaps may change my opinion. Have you seen them?

I’ve never used dating websites so I don’t know if eharmony really rejects people on those grounds. I thought there was a match for everyone… But then, take a look here. Apparently eharmony.com does reject people on unclear grounds. Their reasoning might be very valid – maybe they just don’t have the match for them. But chemistry.com — a new player in the online dating industry, used this criticism of eharmony.com to their advantage. By the way, chemistry.com is owned by match.com – the industry leader in online dating.

I don’t know if it is brilliant or sad – but these ads worked for me. I remembered the new brand, I remembered the commercials (because they are so damn good) and I correctly relayed this to the students 2 weeks after I had seen this ad. This, I think, is a great example of how to use traditional advertising to market to market an online entity.

The goal of sych advertising should be tri-fold:

• Good enough that people remember the brand name/ the dot.com URL
• They remember what the ad was about/ what the brand is about.
• Correctly able to recall the brand and talk to friends about it.

I doubt there is magic formula or the right recipie to achieve all the goals above, BUT —

I think a few elements to doing this teh right way are:

• Establish the sole distinguishing factor from competitor -(without really ridiculing the competitor please- that’s just something I am not cool with and would have no respect for a brand that did that.)
• Give audiences the "OMG!" moment. (OMG – taht’s funny, OMG – that’s cool.. whatever your OMG is) Have you seen the ask.com commericals? My reaction was "OMG – those features are so cool" And I did log on the site to check them out.
• Can you add to this? What other elements worked for you that you think will work for online brands taht want to use traditional media for advertising?

PS – I’m referring to the new ask.com commericals – where all you see are the website features. No annyong man singing and no references to alogorithins or complicated concepts. Just the website – and what it can do for you. I’ll post them here when I find them – right now, youtube.com has the old ones.

This marketplace listing ad on facebook cracked me up!! You gotta love the panache of college kids.

It’s good news when Victoria’s Secret Beauty has a 50% – 75% off sale.

But really bad news when the store runs out of their fancy-schmancy paper bags and begins using these ‘Thank you for shopping’ polythene bags.

How could a gignormous retail giant like Victoria’s Secret run out of paper bags during a sale? And how could they not have a PLAN B in place? If using polythene bags was indeed PLAN B — perhaps the company needs to consider hiring someone who understands brand touchpoints.

Literally every woman in that Santa Clara, CA Victoria’s Secret store was a little perplexed at the idea of carrying their goodies (beauty supplies and undergarments) in flimsy grocery store bags. When I asked the cashier about the state of the bags, she replied, “We’ve run out our bags for like.. forever.”

It probably was an honest mistake and the store thought that was their best solution, but perhaps this is a good opportunity for the store to realize that they need an actual plan in place to conitnue to maintain their terrific brand integrity and image.

Here are some ideas for retail giants that suddenly realize they are out of bags:

1) Run to the nearest dollar store and buy every single paper bag available there. Or Have store printed stickers handy to paste on every bag so atleast the customer knows where the bag came from.

2) If you must use plastic bags (god forbid) – get a little creative. Use ribbons, bows or make creative use of left-over props from past store displays.

3) Create a temp-sign on your window that says the store won’t be using any bags that day as the store’s contribution to saving trees and promoting a green earth. (With the curent bro-ha-ha about going green — this is a very smart strategy when you think about it) Customers can bring their own bags.

More on this.. later. (Off to dinner now!)

Studio 54 days may never return, but innovative nightclub owners and promotion companies are inventing their own recipes to drive traffic and create that unique buzz around their club. Here are some rather interesting tactics I learned about recently, 

1. Polaroids: A close friend in Australia runs a promotion and marketing firm. He alerted me to a cool idea he recently introduced to clubs in Melbourne  – taking Polaroids at nightclubs and selling them in club branded inlets for $5. What a brilliant way to market the club and add that extra pizzaz? Digital and phone cameras have wiped off the old-world charm of polaroids, but like the photo-booth that is climbing up the popularity charts again, the polaroid is back into fashion. An impulsive moment captured on film when surrounded by foot-tapping music, fun-loving people and a couple drinks !
2. Digital downloads: Another club in London actually has it’s own crowd take random photographs of the crowd on a digital camera that are later uploaded to a site. If you were at the club the night before, you are welcome to download your photos (if any!) from the site for free!
3. Invisible stamps: The same friend who is now in Australia pioneered a new way to issue an invisible ‘entry stamp’ on nightclub crowds, who he noticed were always grumbling about the permanence of the stamp. Now clubs use a special ink that is visible only under a green laser light. (That also keeps unsuspecting parents from thinking about their daughter’s whereabouts in Indian households!)
4. Commercialized Stamps: A club in Mumbai actually came up with this innovative stamp that said, "Don’t Drink & Drive. Call a cab" and then provided the preferred cab-company’s phone number. Very innovative: conscious capitalism!
5. SMS Marketing – Send special entry passwords and drink coupons via SMS to preferred guests .

Can you think of any other cool ideas?

A friend passed me on a link to this — I suppose that would make Whole Foods the first grocery store to air it’s own podcast shows!
(PS- Whole Foods CEO John Mackey writes his own blog on the company site. Is that cool or what?!)

The monthly podcasts on WF site feature interviews with experts in diverse fields and share product information and recipies with the readers. I think it’s a fantastic way to get the word across about WF products. But surprisingly there was no information/ posters about the podcasts in the store – and I live right next to one.

I was browsing through a few new sites and was compelled to create this post (with examples this time) Check this out, The first few lines from the About US page of two companies:

net-linx offers software designed to foster growth, while solving the publishing challenges of today, reducing Total Cost of Ownership.

net-linx solutions are intended to reduce the complexity of the publishing process. Our solutions create immediate business value for media publishers by streamlining their production processes, whether it is ad sales, ad production or the creation and publishing of editorial content.

Sophisticated, cross platform solutions will automate much, if not all, of your processes, reducing labor and technology costs. Staff gains access to well thought out tools that let them focus on their core competencies, thus improving productivity. With modern technology, backed by a complete range of services and worldwide support, publishers can reduce their overall technology expenditures. (from net-linx) (and it’s not even over yet!)

AND

NewEra Strategies (NES) is a boutique consulting firm focused on enhancing revenue performance and the end user experience primarily for Directory Publishers and Directory Assistance providers.

NES has been a trusted advisor to the Yellow Pages directory publishing, directory assistance, newspaper, wireless directory and magazine communities for over 20 years. We provide independent industry analysis, strategic business planning, technology solutions and custom publishing products that add value to print, online and wireless markets. – From NES

Why don’t you take a few minutes to decide which one of these descriptions works for you ? It doesn’t matter if the business/ company is of interest to you. What matters is – from reading this About US description, do you:

• Understand what the company does?
• It’s target audience?
• What it can do you for you?
• And lastly, if you had to tell your boss what the company does in one sentence, which website/company is going to give you more trouble coming up with that sentence?

My comments are after the jump.

net-linx offers software designed to foster growth, while solving the publishing challenges of today, reducing Total Cost of Ownership.

net-linx solutions are intended to reduce the complexity of the publishing process. Our solutions create immediate business value for media publishers by streamlining their production processes, whether it is ad sales, ad production or the creation and publishing of editorial content.

Sophisticated, cross platform solutions will automate much, if not all, of your processes, reducing labor and technology costs. Staff gains access to well thought out tools that let them focus on their core competencies, thus improving productivity. With modern technology, backed by a complete range of services and worldwide support, publishers can reduce their overall technology expenditures. (from net-linx)

(How many times did this company use the idea: increase productivity, reduce expenses? Answer: 5 )

• What does the company do? I’m confused. What does it do? All I understand is that it made by business sound even more complicated than it is (considering I work in the publishing industry) and it has further confused me by throwing in these big words that really have no impact.
• Their audience? I’m not sure. What kind of publishers? online? newspaper? book?
• What can it do for me? Increase productivity and reduce expenses. How? NO clue.
• What would I tell my boss? After spending more time than required trying to understand what this company does and offer, I would tell my boss It helps publishing companies increase productivity and reduce expenses. Am I right? I don’t know. I would also recommend my boss that we check out toher options.

Now let’s look at the other company,

NewEra Strategies (NES) is a boutique consulting firm focused on enhancing revenue performance and the end user experience primarily for Directory Publishers and Directory Assistance providers.

NES has been a trusted advisor to the Yellow Pages directory publishing, directory assistance, newspaper, wireless directory and magazine communities for over 20 years. We provide independent industry analysis, strategic business planning, technology solutions and custom publishing products that add value to print, online and wireless markets. – From NES

With this company, I don’t even need to read beyond the first three lines. They’ve answered all my questions without throwing any fancy words in there.

• What does the company do? It’s a boutique consulting firm
• Audience? Dir. publishers and dir. assistance providers
• Services? Enhance revenue performance and end user experience
• What can I tell my boss? Just copy paste the above sentence!! Saves me time, energy and keeps me interested in the company.

Do you agree? What are your thoughts?

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They don’t. Really. I am sick of reading on the About Us section of most new companies words like, "We provide…solutions..integrated… ignite your brand….revolutionary…embracing…platforms.. etc etc"

No. You do not do that to poor unassuming visitors who are just on your website to learn more about you or to understand what it is you really do. All that ’slapped to impressed’ jargon only ends up confusing highly ordinary folks like me who do not care if you are revolutionary or not. (because frankly if you were, you wouldn’t try so hard to impress your visitors)

I especially detest it when new companies have short abbreviated terms for their supposedly-groundbreaking solution-oriented systems, or whatever the heck that is. Why not use plain, simple, layman’s english to convey what it is that you exactly do?

I’ve helped many friends write copy for their websites or brochures – but my explanation that people want simplicity and not difficult, intelligent-sounding words has fallen on deaf ears. "It looks professional," is the repsonse I always end up getting.

Ofcourse. Time-tested formulas that have somehow become the norm are now lumped into the professional category. What is professional, in my opinion, is you making it easy for your potential customer to understand what you do, what you offer.

For example, if you are a marketing company- My only interest is in knowing that your methods will increase my sales. I do not care about the copyrighted, patented formula or your solution-oriented ideology. It hurts my head to read information that takes the highway instead of the shortcut to doing it’s job.

This approach of simplicity works best with the recent flux of internet sites in the social media area that have created a major traffic jam on the internet. Cool technologies are awesome, but when it takes you more than 3 lines to explain what it is, there is something inherently wrong with either your technology or your portrayal of it.

I’d love to give you examples but if you read my blog, you already have come across such websites and are nodding your head in approval as you read this.

Smart Tip of the Day # If you are starting your own company or a website or anything else — keep your copy succint, short and simple. Instill humor, when you can or atleast warmth. Everyone knows robots don’t write.