Big words do not charm – Part 2

February 26, 2007 in Advertising + Marketing

I was browsing through a few new sites and was compelled to create this post (with examples this time) Check this out, The first few lines from the About US page of two companies:

net-linx offers software designed to foster growth, while solving the publishing challenges of today, reducing Total Cost of Ownership.

net-linx solutions are intended to reduce the complexity of the publishing process. Our solutions create immediate business value for media publishers by streamlining their production processes, whether it is ad sales, ad production or the creation and publishing of editorial content.

Sophisticated, cross platform solutions will automate much, if not all, of your processes, reducing labor and technology costs. Staff gains access to well thought out tools that let them focus on their core competencies, thus improving productivity. With modern technology, backed by a complete range of services and worldwide support, publishers can reduce their overall technology expenditures. (from net-linx) (and it’s not even over yet!)

AND

NewEra Strategies (NES) is a boutique consulting firm focused on enhancing revenue performance and the end user experience primarily for Directory Publishers and Directory Assistance providers.

NES has been a trusted advisor to the Yellow Pages directory publishing, directory assistance, newspaper, wireless directory and magazine communities for over 20 years. We provide independent industry analysis, strategic business planning, technology solutions and custom publishing products that add value to print, online and wireless markets. – From NES

Why don’t you take a few minutes to decide which one of these descriptions works for you ? It doesn’t matter if the business/ company is of interest to you. What matters is – from reading this About US description, do you:

• Understand what the company does?
• It’s target audience?
• What it can do you for you?
• And lastly, if you had to tell your boss what the company does in one sentence, which website/company is going to give you more trouble coming up with that sentence?

My comments are after the jump.

net-linx offers software designed to foster growth, while solving the publishing challenges of today, reducing Total Cost of Ownership.

net-linx solutions are intended to reduce the complexity of the publishing process. Our solutions create immediate business value for media publishers by streamlining their production processes, whether it is ad sales, ad production or the creation and publishing of editorial content.

Sophisticated, cross platform solutions will automate much, if not all, of your processes, reducing labor and technology costs. Staff gains access to well thought out tools that let them focus on their core competencies, thus improving productivity. With modern technology, backed by a complete range of services and worldwide support, publishers can reduce their overall technology expenditures. (from net-linx)

(How many times did this company use the idea: increase productivity, reduce expenses? Answer: 5 )

• What does the company do? I’m confused. What does it do? All I understand is that it made by business sound even more complicated than it is (considering I work in the publishing industry) and it has further confused me by throwing in these big words that really have no impact.
• Their audience? I’m not sure. What kind of publishers? online? newspaper? book?
• What can it do for me? Increase productivity and reduce expenses. How? NO clue.
• What would I tell my boss? After spending more time than required trying to understand what this company does and offer, I would tell my boss It helps publishing companies increase productivity and reduce expenses. Am I right? I don’t know. I would also recommend my boss that we check out toher options.

Now let’s look at the other company,

NewEra Strategies (NES) is a boutique consulting firm focused on enhancing revenue performance and the end user experience primarily for Directory Publishers and Directory Assistance providers.

NES has been a trusted advisor to the Yellow Pages directory publishing, directory assistance, newspaper, wireless directory and magazine communities for over 20 years. We provide independent industry analysis, strategic business planning, technology solutions and custom publishing products that add value to print, online and wireless markets. – From NES

With this company, I don’t even need to read beyond the first three lines. They’ve answered all my questions without throwing any fancy words in there.

• What does the company do? It’s a boutique consulting firm
• Audience? Dir. publishers and dir. assistance providers
• Services? Enhance revenue performance and end user experience
• What can I tell my boss? Just copy paste the above sentence!! Saves me time, energy and keeps me interested in the company.

Do you agree? What are your thoughts?